A Breakdown of the lives that I have had:
1.) My first 17 years - Very few people in my life would guarantee that I would reach my 18th birthday. I was illnes prone. I was accident prone. And, I was doing stupid stuff, even for a teenager.
2.) My second life - Military and my first marriage. Ugh! Two trips to the edge of the Hell of war. Seven years in the Hell of Marriage. But, I got 2 beautiful children from the deal.
3.) My third life - Darkness, another marriage, and another trip to Hell. Getting to be a bad habit. But, I got 2 more beautiful children out of that deal.
4.) My fourth life - Another life in Hell. As a single parent I started learning that I am strong enough to face what many people cannot face. There was no good reason for this life to last as long as it did. My 2nd divorce just seemed to linger and cause me problems. But, in the end I found out just how much I had lost along my way through my time on this planet.
5.) This is it. I have learned that 2 of the shortest words in the English language are the most important words in any life. I have learned how to say "NO", and mean it. And, I have learned that when someone tells me "NO" it is time to start looking for the person that has the authority, knowledge and guts to tell me "YES". I am still here. And, if I die tomorrow I will die knowing that I have learned to deal with life. I believe that every day that God gives me is now a vacation for me to enjoy.
So, I now live according to the words of this song recorded by Willie Nelson:
Nothing I Can Do About It Now - Willie Nelson.lyrics
I've got a long list of real good reasons, For all the things I've done.
I've got a picture in the back of my mind, Of what I've lost and what I've won.
I've survived every situation, Knowing when to freeze and when to run.
And regret is just a memory, written on my brow.
And there's nothing I can do about it now!
I've got a wild and a restless spirit. I've held my price through every deal.
I've seen the fire of a woman scorned, turn her heart of gold to steel.
I've got the song of the voice inside me, set to the rhythm of the wheel.
An' I been dreamin' like a child, since the cradle broke the bough,
And there's nothin' I can do about it now! (CHORUS)
Runnin' through the changes, Goin' through the stages,
Comin' round the corners in my life.
Leavin' doubt to fate. Stayin' out too late.
Waitin' for the moon to say good niiiigh-hi-hi-hite.
And I could cry for the time I've wasted, But that's a waste of time and tears.
And I know just what I'd change, If I went back in time somehow.
But there's nothing I can do about it now!
I'm forgiving everything that forgiveness will allow.
And there's nothin' I can do about it now!!